The Distance Between Breaths
Read Chapter 1: — THE MAN IN THE NEXT SEAT
On the second morning of January, Dr Lena Ward spent thirty-eight minutes moving less than a block across the East Channel Bridge.
The radio had been talking about winter nutrition, flu season, and the first week back after the holidays when the traffic report broke in. An ambulance had been delayed at Union Terminal after two passengers collapsed with high fevers. Police were holding one lane open while paramedics moved patients through the concourse.
Lena watched two ambulances disappear beneath the elevated tracks and felt the small, clinical unease she had learned never to dismiss.
Her phone vibrated against the console. The respiratory medicine group chat had been active since dawn.
Dr Peter Quinn, head of the service, had written that morning rounds would be delayed because hospital leadership had called an emergency meeting. A second message followed: several cases of unexplained viral pneumonia had appeared in different hospitals across Lakeshore. Anyone working clinic was to wear a respirator if possible and take exposure histories seriously.
Before Lena could reply, another call came in.
Ben Carter.
Her boyfriend did not bother with hello.
“You vanished on New Year’s Eve.”
“I was on nights.”
“You could have swapped.”
“Everyone wanted the holiday.”
“That’s exactly my point. You always cover for everyone else. Why can’t anyone cover for you?”
Lena tightened her hands on the wheel. Ben was thirty-one, charming, restless, and born into the kind of family that treated money as insulation against ordinary inconvenience. He had spent four years persuading her to date him and nearly two years discovering that love did not automatically make two lives compatible.
“My parents still think you should come west with me,” he said. “You could do private consulting in Vancouver. Part-time. You don’t have to live in a hospital.”
“I am a doctor, Ben.”
“You say that like it’s a life sentence.”
Traffic moved. Lena ended the call before irritation became anger and arrived at the medical conference with three minutes to spare.
Her former residency roommate, Maya Chen, waved from the lobby.
They hugged, laughed at the years between them, and found seats near the front. Maya spent ten minutes complaining affectionately about her husband, her two children, and the collapse of adult romance into grocery lists.
Then she leaned close.
“Did you see who’s presenting this afternoon?”
Lena followed her gaze to the program.
Dr Adrian Shaw — Pulmonary Nocardiosis in Immunocompromised Patients.
For a moment the room narrowed.
Adrian Shaw had been her first love, her father’s favourite trainee, and the person she had once believed she would marry. Eight years earlier, after a fight no apology had repaired, he had gone to Heidelberg and she had left Toronto for Lakeshore.
“He’s back from Germany,” Maya said. “Permanently, apparently.”
The lights dimmed.
Halfway through the opening lecture, someone sat in Maya’s temporarily empty chair.
Lena knew before she looked.
There are people the body remembers before the mind agrees to.
Adrian turned toward her. Time had sharpened his face and lowered his voice, but his eyes were the same.
“Hello, Lena.”
She forgot the slide on the screen.
“Hello, Adrian.”
“Eight years.”
“Something like that.”
“I was hoping you’d come.”
Maya, now sitting near the door, pretended not to see Lena’s murderous glance.
Adrian smiled faintly. “Coffee?”
“No.”
“Five minutes outside?”
She should have said no again.
Instead, perhaps because the morning had already gone wrong in several directions, Lena stood.
Outside the conference centre, the air off the lake cut through her coat.
Adrian put his hands in his pockets and kept a careful distance.
“I saw Professor Ward before I came here,” he said.
Her father.
Lena’s shoulders stiffened.
“He worries about you.”
“He has an interesting way of showing it.”
“He hoped you might visit Toronto before winter is over.”
“My mother is expecting me in Kingston.”
Adrian watched her, understanding too much as usual.
“There’s something else,” he said. “Your father is on an infectious-disease advisory group. He’s heard about the pneumonia cases here.”
Lena looked back through the glass doors at a room full of physicians listening to a lecture about ordinary disease.
“What has he heard?”
“Not enough.”
For a physician, those were often the most frightening words.