Read Chapter 14: — THE FIRST LOSS

George Nolan died on a Tuesday morning at St Joseph’s.

Rachel Quinn was still outside the city with her military unit when Peter received the call.

He had known for three days that George was ventilated. He had known his kidney function was deteriorating. He had reviewed the laboratory results as if reading them hard enough could reverse them.

When the intensivist said, “I’m sorry,” Peter did not immediately understand the sentence.

Then he sat down in the corridor outside his office.

Olivia Grant found him there.

Her own husband, Daniel, had been transferred to intensive care that morning.

For a moment neither knew whose grief to address first.

Peter finally said, “Don’t call Rachel yet. I want to tell her.”

“You should.”

He reached her seven hours later.

Rachel answered from a transport aircraft on the ground between missions.

“How is Dad?”

Peter could not speak.

She understood before he said it.

“No.”

“Rachel—”

“No.”

“He died this morning.”

She began to cry, then to rage.

Why had Peter taken him to St Joseph’s? Why not Lakeshore University? Why had George been admitted at all? Why had Peter not insisted on bringing him home?

Peter absorbed every blow.

Eventually Rachel’s anger broke open.

“This is my fault,” she said. “He was in hospital because we fought. He had chest pain because I fought with him. I wasn’t there. I’m never there.”

“No,” Peter said.

“It is.”

“No.”

“I chose every deployment.”

“And he chose to love you anyway.”

She sobbed.

Peter closed his eyes.

“I should have protected him.”

“You are not allowed to say that after telling me this isn’t my fault.”

They both went silent.

Marriage, Peter thought, sometimes meant holding another person’s worst accusation until they were strong enough to take it back.

“I’m coming home,” Rachel said.

“The city is closed.”

“The Forces are assembling a medical support team.”

Peter understood.

“You’re volunteering.”

“Yes.”

He wanted to beg her not to.

Instead he said, “Then come home safely.”