Read Chapter 17: — APOLOGY

Ben’s illness frightened the vanity out of him.

Not all at once. Human beings rarely improve with cinematic efficiency.

He complained about hospital food. He hated the lack of privacy. He wanted stronger sleep medication and better coffee. He asked whether his family could donate money in exchange for moving him somewhere quieter.

The nurses said no.

Then a man in the next bed deteriorated and was transferred to acute care.

The empty bed changed Ben.

He began watching the staff more carefully.

He saw nurses dance badly with patients to keep them moving.

He saw respiratory therapists finish twelve-hour shifts and stay another hour because replacements were delayed.

He saw physicians answer the same frightened questions without snapping.

He saw Adrian, feverish himself, help an elderly patient understand his medication schedule until a nurse ordered him back to bed.

One afternoon Ben walked over.

“You always this annoying?”

Adrian looked up from a book.

“Professionally or personally?”

“Both.”

“Yes.”

Ben sat on the chair beside the bed.

“I owe you an apology.”

“That is unexpected.”

“I hated you before I met you.”

“That is less unexpected.”

Ben looked toward the far wall.

“I thought Lena never really chose me because some part of her was waiting for you.”

Adrian closed the book.

“Maybe part of her was. Maybe not. But she did choose you for a while. Don’t erase that because it ended.”

Ben’s expression tightened.

“She warned me. About the party.”

“I know.”

“I treated her work like a hobby that inconvenienced me.”

Adrian said nothing.

“I thought if I could give her enough, she would stop needing the hospital.”

“You were trying to make her safe.”

“I was trying to make her mine.”

That distinction hurt.

Ben rubbed his face.

“When you get out, don’t waste another eight years.”

Adrian stared at him.

“Is this blessing coming from my romantic rival?”

“Don’t make me take it back.”

For the first time, they laughed together.