The Governess's Ledger
Read Chapter 15: The Confession
The confession came not in the drawing room, where silks and porcelain might have softened the blow, but in the cold corridor outside the east wing door, Lord Blackwood’s breath fogging the air between them.
“You will speak of this to no one,” he said, his voice stripped of the authoritative calm he wore like a coat. “Not the staff. Not the children. Not even the doctor, should he call again.”
Evelyn pressed her back against the wainscoting, her ribs still aching from the narrow closet where his mother had trapped her. “You kept her locked away. Your own mother. For how long?”
“Seven years.” He said it without hesitation, as if the number had calcified in his throat long ago. “Since Annabel’s accident. Before that, she was manageable—eccentric, perhaps—but after...” He trailed off, jaw tightening.
“After what?” Evelyn prompted.
Lord Blackwood looked down the corridor, checking the shadows, then seized her elbow and steered her into the library. He closed the door and stood before it, a sentinel against interruption.
“My mother loved Annabel,” he began, though the words seemed to pain him. “More than she loved anything. More than she loved me, I sometimes thought. Annabel was her sun. But when my wife, Margaret, died—” He stopped. Swallowed. “When Margaret died giving birth to Annabel, my mother’s grief curdled. She began to whisper that the child was not Margaret’s. That my wife had been unfaithful. That the infant had been swapped.”
Evelyn remembered the scratched-out name in the ledger. *MARY.* “Who did she claim the child belonged to?”
“A servant,” Lord Blackwood said darkly. “A housemaid named Mary who had been dismissed months before Margaret’s confinement. My mother grew convinced that Margaret had taken pity on the girl’s illegitimate child and passed it off as her own.”
“And was there any truth to it?”
The question hung in the air. Lord Blackwood’s eyes flickered toward the window, toward the dark shapes of the gardens beyond.
“I examined the matter myself,” he said slowly. “I confronted my wife’s midwife. I read the letters my mother claimed existed—letters between Margaret and this Mary. There was nothing. No correspondence. No proof.”
“But your mother believed it.”
“She believed it enough to poison Annabel’s childhood.” His voice cracked on the name. “Every birthday, every holiday, she would ask questions in front of guests. Whether Annabel’s hair was truly Margaret’s shade. Whether her disposition matched the family temperament. And when Annabel grew and began to resemble Margaret more strongly, she said it only proved the girl was trying to hide her true nature.”
Evelyn thought of the locket. *For M.* If Annabel had been given such a token, it suggested someone—perhaps the absent Mary—had expected a daughter to claim.
“What happened after the carriage accident?” she asked. “The doctor told me no body was recovered.”
Lord Blackwood’s face contorted. He moved to the fireplace and gripped the mantel, knuckles white.
“The carriage was found overturned in the river, two miles south of the estate. The driver was dead at the scene. Annabel was not in the wreckage. The river was dragged for six days.”
“But you declared her dead.”
“What else could I do?” He turned, and she saw something raw in his expression—genuine pain, or a performance of it. “A young woman missing for weeks. Rumors were already spreading. The estate was hemorrhaging staff. Investors were withdrawing. The Blackwood name—” He broke off and laughed bitterly. “You see how it works, Miss Hartley. Here, even the dead must be managed.”
“You did not search for her.”
“I searched,” he insisted. “I hired men. I offered a reward. I combed every village between here and the coast.” His voice dropped. “And then my mother—” He stopped again, visibly composing himself. “She began insisting she had seen Annabel. In the gardens. In the east wing. She would walk the halls at night calling the girl’s name.”
“So you locked her away.”
“I had no choice. She was harming herself—opening windows in winter, climbing the parapet. I consulted three physicians. They all agreed she needed confinement.” He looked at Evelyn with haunted eyes. “But I could not send her to an asylum. The scandal would have destroyed Thomas and Clara’s prospects. So I built one here. A private prison. And I have spent every day since wondering if I did the right thing.”
Evelyn should have felt sympathy. The story was tragic; she could see that. A grieving mother, a daughter who looked too much like the dead, a son shouldering the burden of family legacy. But something in his account rang hollow.
“You told me earlier,” she said carefully, “that someone else questioned Annabel’s parentage. Who?”
Lord Blackwood’s gaze sharpened. For a moment, she thought he would refuse. Then he sighed heavily.
“My brother-in-law,” he said. “Margaret’s brother, Samuel Hartley.”
Evelyn’s blood went cold. *Hartley.*
“He arrived a week after the funeral,” Lord Blackwood continued, oblivious to her reaction. “He had heard rumors—my mother’s whispers had found their way to London. He demanded proof that Annabel was Margaret’s child. I refused to entertain his accusations. He threatened to sue for control of the inheritance, to have Annabel’s legitimacy examined by the courts.”
“What happened to him?”
“Nothing. He left. I assumed the matter was settled.” Lord Blackwood hesitated. “But he returned once more, years later, after Annabel vanished. He wanted—he wanted her declared dead legally. To claim her share of Margaret’s estate.”
Evelyn’s own name felt like a brand upon her. She had been sent to Blackwood by a distant relative—an uncle, she had been told, who had heard of her circumstances and arranged the position. A man named Samuel Hartley, who had demanded she search for answers in this house without revealing her connection.
She had believed it coincidence. Two families sharing a common surname.
Now she was not so certain.
Who are you? she wanted to ask Lord Blackwood—why would you not have recognized my name?
But she dared not reveal her own suspicion. Not yet.
“If Annabel is alive,” Evelyn pressed instead, “where would she have gone? Who would have helped her?”
Lord Blackwood shook his head. “I have asked myself this question for four years. She had no relatives she trusted. No friends outside this house. If someone hid her, it was someone who knew the estate intimately. Someone who wanted her gone as much as—” He stopped, catching himself.
“As much as you wanted her gone?” Evelyn finished.
His eyes met hers, and she saw something flicker there. Guilt? Fear?
“I wanted to protect my family,” he said quietly. “Nothing more.”
Outside, a branch scraped against the window. Evelyn thought of Beatrice whispering in the dark. *I must protect my son from the truth.*
“What truth does your mother know?” Evelyn asked. “She said she was protecting you. What are you afraid of?”
Lord Blackwood’s face shuttered. “My mother is mad, Miss Hartley. She cannot distinguish between memory and delusion.”
“She knew about Annabel. She said—your mother said she rejected Annabel. That the girl was not her child. What does that mean?”
“It means,” he said through clenched teeth, “that my mother’s illness caused her to do terrible things before I confined her. She drove Annabel from this house long before the accident. She told the girl she was not wanted. Not a daughter of this family.”
Evelyn felt a chill work down her spine. “And you let her.”
“I was not here.” The words came out shredded. “I was in London, attending to business. When I returned, Annabel was gone. My mother claimed she had run away in the night. I searched for weeks. And then—then the carriage was found.”
“You think your mother did something to her.”
Lord Blackwood was silent for a long moment. When he spoke, his voice was barely audible.
“I think,” he said, “that I will never know the truth. And I have learned to live with that.” He looked at her, and she saw pleading in his eyes. “You must learn to live with it too, Miss Hartley. For the sake of the children. For the sake of this house. For your own sake.”
He stepped closer, lowering his voice. “My mother told you she was protecting me. But she is protecting herself—from the consequences of what she may have done. If you continue to investigate, you will not find Annabel. You will find only ruin. Yours and mine.”
He left the library without another word, and the door clicked shut with terrible finality.
Evelyn stood alone in the darkening room. Outside, the wind had risen, and she could hear it keening through the eaves. She reached into her pocket and closed her fingers around Annabel’s locket. *For M.*
*For Mary.*
But if Lord Blackwood had no knowledge of where his daughter had gone, then someone else had taken her. Someone who knew the hollow tree. Someone who knew the ledger. Someone who had recently torn pages from it.
Someone, she realized with a start, who was in this house even now—waiting for her to stop asking questions.
She had not promised to stop. She had merely promised not to enter the east wing again.
The garden, however, remained open.
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